It is raining heavily and quite beautifully in my city this afternoon, time doesn't seem to pass and everything is lazy. I am sunken comfortably on one of the many huge persian rugs in my home. That's one of my favorite things to do when solo; walk around barefoot on enormous carpets that are softer than most things i normally walk on. Fall has completely and uncontrollably taken over my life. Summer is gone with it's memories and winter is waiting secretly to give me new ones. My departure is creeping up faster than i expected. In a little over a month, ill be gone. Again. Away from them. Again. Yet closer to you. Again.
Leaving is such a bittersweet word to me. I always leave. Willingly or not, that's what i do. I leave the ones i love, allow new lovers to create clasps, then leave them too. I always come back tho, but everything changes. Usually to the better. Loving gets stronger, missing gets larger, reuniting gets more intense but leaving gets harder. I haven't figured out if it is my curse or my blessing. I mean, i am extremely blessed with everything i own. Not in form of material things, but in form of family, friends, surroundings, experiences and comfortability. All i know is that i love too much. Or nothing at all. I am scared shitless to commit to something that will someday make me stay. I am too fragile to be left. I guess that's why. But I am ready for whatever is thrown at me. I think. Just promise to always take care of me and never ever leave me. You have to promise. You have to point at the stars and promise.
The sky is clearing up as the night takes to dance and the rain flees to it's next city of words and perfect tunes.
No comments:
Post a Comment